KOYLA

                                                             

PETER bhi gandaa hai,
LEVI bhi maila…

Chaaron aur hai KOYLA!!

Hosh na khona kyunki KOYLA toh khod ke jana!! 

Okay.Okay. Calm down. Madhuri is pretty busy doing "Hehe" with her "Nene" and SRK is with what he does best…publicity of his movie! So,this is definitely not a teaser to  ‘KOYLA 2’ or anything of that sort. This is more deadly, more gruesome. In simple words, more LITERAL!!!

Holy Sunshine! Oh, thou glittering orb of fire! Radiating rays of life. Just when your rays tend to caress the epidermis, the uncluttered and the pure warmth of nature sinks in. Priceless!

OYE HELLO!!! Enough of the choking PHILOSOPHY. Having trouble guessing its Trigger?? No, it’s not any magnificent view of sunrise on the expansive beaches of Goa nor any serene sun-view from the Mighty Himalayas. But it’s the ‘extraordinarily normal’ feeling of getting above the ground from an hell-like Undergound Coal-Mine!! Orgasmic.

Occasion: 29/10/2011;

 Location : Conference Room,Training Centre;

Occupation : Tata Steel.

Presently, am in a shitty Mining lecture; the faculty giving me dirty looks as if I had deflowered his daughter last night and he was a witness to that. A dangerous yet exciting tym to vomit a blog post on my maiden Underground mine-visit experience. ’Flashback Horror’ I call it. Firing it away!

Flashback! Vrooooooooooooooooooooooom!!

Occasion: 12/9/2011;

Location : Underground Mine Office;

Occupation : Wahi same hi hai be.

Supervisor : Aur kaisa chal raha hai,Company ke damaadon?(I tell u,all our Aged-seniors over here r fuckin’ jealous of us. Only ‘coz of an Engineering degree,we have a high designation n get paid more. And these ego-centric retards have a tough time digesting the fact. Sadistic! Yo Engineering Yo.)

 Bahut uchhal rahe hoge,aaj uchhal lo jab damaad bane hue ho,kal jab manager banoge,Tab Bin Dahej ki Dulhan ki tarah hona padega!

With a “Kill me, Damn it!” expression I gaped at my frens n they bore the same look. 

Me(Trying to get to the point): Sir, we are ready with our Torch-Lights, Batteries, and Protective gear. Shall We…

Supervisor : Easy Tiger! Why in such hurry? U all are Virgins. Aren’t u? (Another round of gaping expressions followed this.) I mean u all haven’t been Underground before. Have u? Trust me, aftr today’s visit, you will want to make sure that you have no time fr such visits. Anyways, let’s go.

Amidst such ominous warnings, we braced up ourselves and finally reached the shaft that would take us down under. Hell Down under!!

The shaft was a dark chamber with a capacity of 25 people max. Needless to say,how many actually were with us.36!! Incredible India! It was dark all around and a continuous seepage of ground water made the surroundings eerily cool. The difference in atmospheric pressure was noticeable. The shaft finally stopped 500 m below ground level. A notice board there,read "Welcome To Jamadoba, Jharia -Deepest Coal-mine in Asia" How the fuck can it be welcoming? Bloody Oxymoron.

Quick Facts. There is no natural oxygen present here. Artificial air is sucked in through pumps and it ventilates the entire area.(Read 'Ventilates' as 'Compromise') Forget about food,even if you open up ur water bottle fr drinking purposes, the omnipresent Coal-dust contaminates that as well.Then to strike the final nail in the coffin,there is Methane Gas whose even sporadic amounts can cause fire and serious health issues. 

Mr. Supervisor was carrying a stick n was tapping the roof-top periodically. On being asked,he replied... Kabhi Kabhi gir jata hai na...isliye!!  Wat d....How do people survive here? all of us were wondering...shell-shocked!

We walked though a down-sliding drift of 2 Klicks!!Throughout that trip,I was wondering what on earth will happen when we have to return-A bone-crushing,toe-twisting upward crawl!!Phew! 

We reached the 'Face' of the mine,where the actual drilling and blasting of mine,takes place;coal is recovered through haulage  and transferred above ground through Winders.(Oh! Wow I am talking like a Mining Engineer) Foremen & workers in banyans n half-pants, were supervising and carrying out the operation and seeing us in officer's apparel they started staring  @ us as if we belonged to Mars.Anyways,I don't want to include these people under the purview of my Sarcasm;I feel really empathetic fr these guys. That place is hell.Dirty hell. And to work everyday in there..with a substantial risk quotient fr just a meager wage,these people deserve only consolation,sympathy and applause.

After the 'Face'-off, the worst part began. The Climb!!Even the 'mouth-watering' feeling of getting above ground was insufficient fr the tired-souls to continue. Everyone was going berserk. One of my frens was praying to God to send him for a hell-trip(Actual one that is) so that he can have a comparison. One was in intense pain due to corn in his foot.One was checking his Family's pic in his wallet,unsure of the fact whether he would be able to see them again or not. And I, was singing "O Rabba,mein toh mar gaya Oye....Khudaaai mein toh kar gaya,kar gaya..Oye" to which I received cold stares frm everyone.The Supervisor laughed. He did his best to keep the tempo going,by talking about arbitrary topics and  keep the overall mood sane.Little did he know..he was talking to Zombies,totally numb out of pain. 

We etched closer.It's amazing how the adrenalin can take you over the tipping point in such gross situations.We started to walk faster(relatively) and reached the shaft. The A-shift too had ended at that time.So there was huge crowd gathering there anticipating the shaft to come down. The supervisor took us through the crowd and we were ready by the shaft. The Shaft-gates opened.We all rushed in one go.Then came the worker-public;almost giving a sense of stampede. The shaft official sequestered the crowd and closed the gated.It was really a Jail-Jailer-prisoner kinda situation.The desperation to go out,was so evident,even on the faces of the daily goers.

Then that thin serene strap of Sunlight.A Kodak Moment!! I wanted to fall in love with every natural thing I saw: the sunlight, the chirping of birds, the natural air,the smiling faces.Of course the Air-conditioner helped :) But on a serious note,every basic amenity seemed like Luxury! That was one heck of an experience.Made me realize how fortunate we r to hang on to Prithvi lok rather than the Patal Lok. Also the fact that man can generate money from anywhere..Yeah!! Anywhere! Lastly,just want to say to my mining juniors, you guys have not seen the worst part of ur trade.Its 'THE' worst.

This is Anurag \m/ishra 'Signing' Off and 'Mining' Down :P

Failing to find the 'Good' in a 'Good-Bye'

“Chal …Bye Anurag. Baad mein milte hein :)”

So mundane…so inconsequential…isn’t it?

You don’t even give a shit to these phrases when you are busy, when you are in a hurry…I mean when you are just NORMAL!!! But the time myself and am sure my friends also must have been through, I bet nothing was normal. There was a frightening assimilation of emotions. There was an overwhelming joy of becoming an engineer (Its my request that please don’t question the validity of my degree coz I know I can’t justify), there was a sense of suicide seeing all the “Viva-project Thesis-seminar-lab” shit during the last few days of the good four-year vacation, there was a sense of hopelessness to even imagine the impending void without the best of friends of my life, and to make things more fuzzy, there was this abhorrent feeling of working UNDER someone devoid of the trademark FREEDOM of us,The Engineers! Imagine!

Now the “Bye” seems like an infinite stoppage and the “Baad mein” seems to occur never!

To make things worse is the fact that I am a day scholar. No no…I am not god-damn complaining! Just the point that – When some people have given you the best of moments of your life, leaving them gives you the most paralyzing of times ever. I have been very fortunate to relish the company of my family during the Engg. period, when all of my college friends were badly craving for it. And when these four years have passed out in a jiffy, when there is a substantial change from being a toddler to that of adulthood, suddenly I realize that I too have to taste that bitter fruit. That monstrous, badly-disfigured, shit-like thing. That ugly bitch called ‘going away from your dear ones’. Totally Gross!

But this post is not what I feel. That is unimportant. This is about my near and dear ones esp. my mom and dad whom I would be leaving tomorrow. When my elder sis left for outside studies and later for job, I have seen them cry. Trust me…that was awfully bad. But they openly admitted that that was simply nothing as compared to what they would feel when I go coz’ after me going…they would be alone as they say. So I don’t know what to expect tomorrow. Mom’s eyes are always full of tears that do not even require triggering. ‘A volcano of emotions lurking to erupt’ will be an apt simile to describe her. Frankly, I have taken her for granted at many instances which I still regret. But at this moment of stand-still…when emotion has taken its toll, even the most phlegmatic of corners within me is willing to burst into tears. Yesterday, my mom called me to sleep with her once before I go. At midnight, when I woke up suddenly, I found her still clutching my hand firmly even in her deep sleep as if she was seeing a nightmare where some spooky devilish spirit was taking me with it away from her and she was trying her best to prevent it from happening. Moments!

It’s true, it’s frighteningly true,

True value of a person is realized when he is not with you,

Got to taste something filthily bitter,

To know the sweetness of honey,

This is LIFE for you and its Bitter-sweet Symphony,

And just as the Poets of the Fall say,

May be Tomorrow is a better day…

This is Anurag \m/ishra Signing off.

SE7EN

Papa:see see..how our Stud is dying!!
Mom: What d hell...he's God-damn Studying!
Papa:Point is..its all the same when u utter it with a deep sigh in between!

Phew!! Hell yeah I almost died dis End-sem, dying fr the 7th tym.They say d cat has nine lives..I say 2 Them "Abe oyee engineer ke bhi utne hi hein".. surviving 8 deaths isn't easy :| I must admit (for M.Tech guys??Lemme say all r Rajnikant's progenies..n u know Rajni has even created 4 xtra lives fr them in a bargain with God!)

But this tym..d death was 'DIFFERENT' coz of a different killer! ne guesses?? SHEILAAAAAA! (ya..she is RED hot)
Forget about Telivision!!In articles..Internet..even in Facebook posts,SHEILA is rampant.
By the way..if nebody wud hav cared 2 read my previous post on my TATA STEEL internship..shud know that,got placed in there!So the recent news about my in-laws in the "taped n trapped" controversy deserves sum sorta reaction frm me!Isn't it? :)

So here is my tribute to both SHEILA and NIIRA...My way!!

NIIRA RADIA(to the media reg. the Tapes):
I know u want it,but u neva gonna get it..tere haath kabhi na aani!!
Maane na maane ye media yeh saari,mere tapes hi hai deewaani.
(repeats)
BARKHA DUTT:
Ab dil karta hai haule haule se iska mein gala dabauun,
Kisi aur ki mujhko zaroorat kya,mein toh khud hi waar karwauun,

A.RAJA:
Wats her name?..wats her name?..wats her name?

NIIRA RADIA:
My name is NIIRAAAAAAAAAA....NIIRA ki badnaami,
I'm so filthy for u,koi mere paas na aani :( !!
No no no no no.. NIIRAAAAAAAAAA....NIIRA ki badnaami,
I'm so filthy for u,koi mere paas na aani :( !!

RATAN TATA:
Silly Silly Silly girl.. Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh,
Mujhe "Hello,hello" karti hai.... Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh,
Jab yuun phone pick up karun,
Haule haule taane deti hai,
Hai magar......be-asar.....mujhpe har paintra(reg. filing the recent petition..lol :))

A.RAJA(busy in 'Quawaali' after resigning):
Hai re hai paisa maare humko ho gaye sau arsee re,
Sookhe dil pe meghaa ban ke....Media ki krupa toh barse re!!!

NIIRA RADIA(aftr release of new tapes):
I know u've got it,but u neva gonna use it..tere haath kabhi na aani!!
Maane na maane..yeh sale media wale hi...pila chuke hai mujhko paani!!
(repeats)

CHORUS(Rajdeep Sardesai,Vir Sanghvi n Co.)
Ain't nobody has a rhapsody like NIIRAAAAA..
Ain't nobody has a threnody like NIIRAAAAA..
Everybody wants to have a bite at NIIRAAAAA..
Ain't nobody has a tragedy like NIIRAAAAA..

-Anurag Mishra
7th Semester Survivor!

Interviewed..Intrigued..but most importantly...not Screwed!!!

"abe Anurag..apna mail chek kar be..TATA STEEL is cumin 2 NIT RKL 4 interns"..says my hostelite fren.Shit...I hate bein aloof 2 all d news arnd just by not bein a hostelite. And wenz d test...2 days 4m now...Waaah!!!Why evrythin happens in NIT in d 11th hour..Leave it..sum things better left half written...

After 2 days

We had no idea..wat was goin 2 happn dat day..written,written then GD,GD n PI..or sumthin else.I went ther open minded(matlab blank minded..obviously!).Then a gulti came...(By d way..Gulti in our cllg means a southie n not Goo+oolti...hehehe).In d mail,it was mentioned dat students from 7 branches wer eligible 4 this TATA Test. But d Gulti came n said that only Elec,Mech,Meta, n Mining studnts wer allowed..wich increased our self importance 2 paramount level..It was a general test..with both Technical n Aptitude sections...after d test..these general reactions came..4m the Elec studs..

Stud No 1- Kya be..itna jhaantu paper tha..thoda toh challenging karta..chii..tym waste!!

Stud No 2-Kya sirf written..no GD n all..bhakk..kya be..bekar ho gaya sala..

Stud No 3-Chii yaar... kharab ho gaya...70 se 9 tho nahi kar paya..(Uska address dhoond raha hun mein..dhounga pakad ke!!)

"Haan bhai..tum hi log Einstien ho.. jis Einstien ka foto hum log dekhte hein.. wo toh bas jhoot moot ka foto utha diya hai.."I muttered amidst their complacency.

Wen all had thought..it was just the writtn test..n the test toppers wud qualify 4 TATA interns..d results wer out..n it suggested that d shortlisted candidates wud hav 2 go thru another round i.e the PI(poora interview :) ) round.My name was short listed along with few southies like

1.R.Vijay

2.K.Anil kumar

3.M.V.Ashwin

I strongly felt that my name wud hav been "M.Anurag" 2 suit that list..hehe. All wer a bit taken aback not 2 find the big names(or in NIT lingo "GMAT"- G**d mein atyadhik tension)of Elec. engg in that list wich suggested it was purely based upon that written test rather than our Grade points.

And d pity was that, Sunday was d interview n I came 2 know abt this on Saturday night at abt 9:30 pm.Padhna toh duur ki baat hai..apna CV banate banate raat 3:30 baj gaye.Then aftr a 5 hour sleep...I went 2 college as the schduled PI timing was at 9:30 am.But...but... but... it was postponed to at first 12 O'clock..n then to 2:30 pm justifying d 3rd line of my blog post.These interim hours..were nervi & funny at the same tym."Nervi" coz it was goin 2 be my 1st "Big" interview..apart from d cheap viva-voce of our insti wich r heavily girls-oriented! n "Funny" coz evryone was lukin at us differntly coz of our attire that day..I myself was in jeans.."Semi-formal"....Vijay n Ashwin - "Formal"...n Anil - "Goddamn Formal!!!" was already lukin lyk an Executive.

We wer,so 2 say "hiding" inside the library rather than studying nething. Amidst the discussion,1 of our frens saw us,came 2 us n asked Anil,"How do u feel b4 d interview?" 2 which Anil answered "I don even deserve 2 be in the interview".I salute his honesty..n wid this +ve feeling..we went 2 hostel 4 lunch.In hostel..lots of congrats abt 1st round selection...querries abt the PI...laughs on our dress code poured our way!We bunked our lab of 1:15 pm..with our deadly weapon of "TATA internship interview" n reached the Institute Guest house by 2:30.

It was "Show time".My ntry 2 the Guest house was not at all welcuming.Ther wer 2 Final yr volunteers,helping TATA officials in d PI process. Seeing my "informal"ity(Refer d pic above in wich i feel embarrased of it), one of them said.."Oye hero...idhar aa..idhar aa...Yeh sab kya hai..Do u kno the status of TATA STEEL...In PI d first impression decides your fate..blah blah..Kahan kahan se aa jate hein..sale."I thought.."Haan bhai...tu hi mera bhagya vidhata hai..tujhe saaaab maloom hai...am an idiot,a loser..n u r bloody abuser."I didn't xpress nething coz I wanted 2 keep my concentration goin. My turn came.Ther were 2 persons..1 jawan..n 1 oldie.This is what happened...

Jawan: Hello Anurag! Introduce urself..

Me: Sir..myself Anurag Mishra,doing my B.tech in Elec Engg here in NITRKL and am in 3rd yr(sala..its so obvious! Even both of them kno this.)I passed from matriculation from ISCE board with 93% n Intermideate with 91.7%.Am a dayscholar residin in Rourkela itself.

Oldie: Why do u intend 2 do ur intern under TATA STEEL?

Me: Sir,I just want 2 correct u that I am not goin 2 work under TS,but with TS and try to share its success.I want to work in the lateral structure rather than hierarchical structure..coz I think that is wen I can giv my max 2 the company.(Ekdum jhoot!!)

Oldie: It is nice 2 hear that from u! But how do u know..TS has a lateral structure?

Me: Actually Sir, I had read the interview article of TS's MD..n he had emphasized this point of his.(Ek jhoot ko choopane ke liye aur ek jhooth!)

Oldie: But why shud TS take u?

Me(thinking..aree kyun nahi loge be ..I just want 2 get in..thats enou!): Coz sir,apart from an electrical engg perspective,I hav sound technical knowledge in d field of Computer science..So i can be of use in that aspect also..like website designing..managing database..as I dont want 2 keep them as just my hobby anymore wen they can boost my profession.

Jawan:It seems ur good in studies..u hav got 9.28 CG..so wats apart from that???

Me: Sir, I have built 2 professional websites..1 for my own institute's club ..n other for a private company...and hav contributed 2 many other college fest sites.I blog a lot. am d member of Insti cricket squad..n two times inter hall champs(act. its 1 tym..kya farak padta hai..)blah blah..(tarriff pe tarriff...tarriff pe tarriff).

Oldie: U r at a gud position now..means grade wise!So say aftr 6th sem u get placed,so will u get complacent?

Me:Sir actually its not abt complacency.Generally,I start all preps 3-4 days before sems..at that tym will also do the same..wat may happen is irrelevant 2 my complacency..but at max it may so happen 3-4 days may go down to 1-2.(With Smiles!)

Jawan:Ok..fine...so wats ur 1 proudest moment..in NIT..Name only 1.

Me: Hmmm...sir u may just find it a bit childish..but the day in first yr..we defeated final yr students in the super six cricket turnament..was easily my best day in NIT till date..we r d only 1st yrs to have won that turnament till now.That moment is the clear winner 2 ur question.

Oldie: Where do u c urself in future ?

Me(controlled myself from saying IIMs or MD of sum company or dat sort of thing ):Sir,serving my company with my full capability..managing my sub-ordinates with proper respect 4 them 2 xtract max out of them.

Oldie: Do u have any questions 2 ask us?

Me: Surely sir! Wats d reason behind the latest growth in profit of TS from 466 Cr.in DEC 2008 to 1192 Cr. in DEC 2009?

Oldie:!@#$%^&^%$%^$&*%$*))$$#(*)$^%$#%%$&))(&**^^*^*()&$#$#%$$^&*(&%^&$%#%$^%*(*)_ (means i wasnt listening 2 him..I was just nodding 2 him wer as thinkin that my Google Search last nite on "recent TATA STEEL news" was successfully executed.)

Oldie:Thank you Anurag!

Me:Thank you sir..hav a nice day(n make my summer a nice one too :))

Oh..n abt the results...I can say this much that..my frens greeted me the next day..with d most famous word in our cllg..."treat."

n they said...CAT is the toughest!!!

"chii..chiiiiiiiiii..chhhkkk..chkk"  sounds familiar???

Andheri raaton mein,

Sunsaan gharoon par,

Jab eeeek "chuuuha" nikalta hai...

Use log "tu chale jah" kehte hein.

here's the line up...(not as long as d 15-member Indian cricket squad.. but Trust me!! dey r equally challengable.)

Naam - Chotta Chhhatri...also known as "cc"(due 2 striking resemblance between its initials n its rediculously miniature size)

Baap ka naam - Kanyoom Khatriii...such a sneaky son of a bitch one cud hav ever imagined..boy!

Maa ka naam - Yedi Mausi!

Day-1,8:30 am:

Mummy n papa conversing...

Mom-we hav 2 do sumthin abt it..its gettin 2 mischievous...startin 4m bananas,vegetabls..to the couch covers in the closet..its invasion has been alarmingly increasing over the days..

Me,pretending 2 b unconscious(wich I actually am during sleep) was eavesdropping...n suddenly burst in2 laughter 2 add to the irritation of my mom..n latched a sarcastic 1-liner "aree ganeshji swayam padhaare hein humare dwar..aur aap hein ki tuuch vastu ko leke pareshaan hein...hehehe".

Mom - haan haan uda mazakk...

That nite..deviating 4m my actual nocturnal self..I slept at about 11:30..unknown of the fact dat next day I was goin 2 receive a big Jhatka!!

Day-2,7:15 am:

Mom-Babu..dekh apna yeh tuuch vastu..Jai ho shree Ganesh ki..

Even in my half-closed eyes..I cud recognize.. that was my Fastrack Wrist watch(n yes..Limited Collection).But it seemed a bit different..a bit..OMG!!!its band was corroded like...like a RAT had..Wat d F**k!!!then I had realized that so called "cc" had ruined my invaluable watch n my mom had taken revenge of my sarcasm.

Mom-Too bad..so saaad!!!

Me(infuriated):Maa...we hav 2 do sumthin abt this "mirchi bomb"..its getting 2 mischievous(notice d xact words as my mom d last day..its funny how 1's reaction changes depending upon "waqt n halaat").

Widout wastin much tym,I did 2 things..Got my watch done..n more importantly RAT Poison.. "hihahahaha!! 'cc' aaj toh tu gaya..." I thought.

Day-3,7:30 am:

Mom-Babu c who's ther...its ur "Mirchi bomb"..but wid no 'spice' ne more ...

It was the best alarm I had evr heard...went 2 c that ugly asshole n waaah!wat a sight!!Silence prevailed.Mom asked me dispose that thing..I took it..threw in the dustbin...showed it my middle finger...n said "Dont Rest In Peace".

Just wen I thought life had become better,I heard Mom saying sumthing 2 papa..wich sounded like "..haan..that small one is gone.. but the big one is still alive n kicking!!".

Me-Oh,no...not any more,plz Ganesh ji..I want ur blessings not ur "Chelas".That nite,I kept my watch(not in d usual condition..but still Limited Collection :))above the Fridge rather than the shelf n also planted the poison..in order 2 verify..they r dead..they r AAALLLL dead!!

Day-4,8:45 am:

That morning,Mom's call neither sounded sarcastic nor joyous,rather it sounded sorry...sorry 4 me.I thought the protagonist was dead,but I was wrong..so terribly wrong!After 'cc',it was 'kk' who exhibited the tag "Revenge of the fallen" !!Aur saalon ko meri ghadi hi mili thi..it was back 2 d condition in wich it was xactly 24 hrs b4,rotten!!One cant believe how 'kk' got 2 my watch..that nite..it got thru the backward circuitry of the fridge n luckily(n unluckily 4 me) d fridge was switched off. This tym even the watch shopkeeper laughed at my Tragic saga..2 wich I responded spontaneously "chal chal..apna kam kar".I had decided that no more poison..coz mom said this "kk"(Kutta Kamina) knew from the smell of the poison.. wat it actually was.So I decided 2 end this once 4 all wid a Mouse Trap!

In d nite tym, I planted kk's favourite material(no!! not my watch but a shinning slice of tomato(minus poison obv.))inside the trap n everything was set up nicely 4 the Villainous 'kk'.

Day-5,6:30 am:

"Dhip Dhip.....Ddhipppp".

"It's in"...Mom shouted wid joy.I jumped off my bed 2 hav that view..n seeing it inside I cudn't control sayin,

"Ram Naam satya hai..yeh nazaara mast hai!".It was quite an achievement,I tell u. Phew!!!!

That nite,ther was no sound of utensils,nothing was damaged,my watch was alright, n no more RAT in d TRAP nxt morning.So I concluded dat " Yedi mausi is not dat yedi 2 stay in our house n get killed by me." n 4m then on we r living happily widout d "RAT" factor.

U n me..me n U ,aur beech mein kuch frustoo!

 me:-

इस ब्लॉग के कोई भी घटनाएँ और पात्र काल्पनिक नहीं है और इनका बहुत से "item" लोगों से अटूट सम्बन्ध है. यदि इन घटनाओं के लिए किसीका कोई संदर्भ (means reference.. i had 2 search the hindi counterpart for it.. c how much hardwork is put in2 dis.)है तोह वोह सच है .  बहुत सारे  भयंकर नर और मादा के विभिन प्रजातियाँ हमारे यहाँ  पाए जाते हैं.आईये आपका इस NIT नामक फक्किंग(no astericks reqd..yippi) चिडियाघर में स्वागत है.  

u:-

हाँ हाँ.. हो गया..हो गया(में समझ गया  की साला तू  हिंदी विंदी लिख के impress करना चाहता है )...आज के लिए इतना हिंदी काफी है..चल अभी line पे आजा.

me:-

okay boss..aa gaya line mein(the emotion is in hindi..but the language is English..hope its enou)Throwin sum more light on the disclaimr..this post is abt our insti's so called TEACHERS..or comical CREATURES(obv. not all..kya pata koi teachr hi padha raha ho toh.. let me play safe). So widout ne futhr delay,lets roll...

u:-

haan saale..play safe..dravid ka bhatija..

me:-

Subject -1: Subbu...Our HOD(Hero of the Dept)He makes u feel like ikiis saal ka boodha..n he himself pachas saal ka jawaan..looks r aristocratic..but 1ce he opens his mouth....Yeshh...Yeshh( pronounces "s" as "shhh")..dignity terminates,comedy emanates.Durin Suhaag raat,he might hav said..let hav sum shheks...(dekh daant mat dikha). Lost in self importance,unsure wen asked doubts..blah blah..inspite of these facts I dont hav much 2 say against him coz he doesnt disturb us in our back bench talks..So i m like "Cool" with him..& my conclusion 4 him is  a "HERO HEERA LAL".

u:- hihihi..shheks..shhhhahi..oops, i mean sahi :)

me:-

Subject 2:- 

 Jacko..the pyscho.Sumtyms I ask God,y this person researched for awful 30 yrs in our field of study...the answer I get.."Baccha.. he did so only 2 f**k u tym n tym again.".Yes God u r true, I say.Evry tym u face him,u realize that u kno nothing...n trust me..u learn it d HARD WAY...Conceptually he's brilliant(aftr all 30 yrs :-) )..but nature wise..hyperdominant. And ther is further news that he'z appointed the new VC of the BPUT university..its bad..soooo sad :-)[dat was fr BPUT students] .Sabhi sabutaun ko madde nazar rakhte hue adalat yeh faisla sunati hai ki..he is a "MEGALOMANIAC".

u:- God bhi aaj kal non-veg kehna start kar diye.. gud god!

me:- 

Subject 3:-

Bahar se Danger Sahoo(BD Sahoo)..of the CS dept. I facd him wen i had some uploading of website job for the insti. But he, boy! lemme put the xact interaction..

myself :- Sir, actually I request u to grant permision 4 the webspace of our club....plz if u cud ask the server room officials 2 forward  the process.

BDS :- Haan,kyun nahi. Kal koi "playboy" ka bhi site bana lena ,aur mera permission zaroorat pade toh le jana.You all r suffering 4m inferiority complex, n want 2 xhibit urselves in frnt of others by these websites n all. Go...

myself(stunned..where 4m this "playboy" thing came 4m ..zaroor yeh khud hi dekhta hoga ):- Sir , but Dir sir has asked u 2 do this..plz if u cud co-operate..we wll b thankful..

BDS:- Director..wo toh baccha hai..usko kuch nahi maloom..mera exp. usse kaafi zyada hai.. blah blah.

I cudn't take it any more..n went in a point-blank manner widout caring wat he thought abt dat .Next day I went 2 him with a written directive 4m the Dir..n he like a good boy gave his permission without any further glitches.."FATTU" kahin ka. Bahar se Danger,saddha hua andar :)

Yeh toh bas trailer tha..poori picture toh jhel hi nahi paooge mere dost...

u:- chalo bhaiii..isko kuch comment de dete hein !!  :-)

dEAd spacE.....

Apart frm being the best horror Flick from EA Sports,"Dead Space" personifies my college's  status.Yes!!!Across the premiere institutes,the reason of all brouhaha is Swine Flu, but its seems that NITRKL does not need any such killer causes,waise hi toh..... :( .I dont take any bloody pride in mentioning this thing,but first my seniors,then my branch mates,then my juniors...hav gone by.. got reduced 2 ashes!!!B4 entering this insti,I thought lyk.. I am entering a heaven..but it seems God has taken seriously the literal meaning of my assumption,and has been successful in converting life into heaven for several mates of mine.Every yr we get 3 to 4 days as holidays due to the deaths of our students,the only holidays which I dont cherish.I guess that wud be included in our academic calender..these holidayz from next yr onwards,so much is the  regularity of deaths here.

                                               

Will it ever stop??? If Yes,then How? If No,then Why?But after witnessing such catastrophical 2 yrs,I am deeply concerned with the YES part of the question only.Firstly students does not realize their limits n think themselves 2 b at the top of the world thinking themselves as a part of this world class (Err...World's....ass) institute.  

                       Cant understand thers ample tym 4 njoyment  n all..n ultimately pay the price causing attrition in Insti's reputation.But our insti is too laid-back in this aspect(as in all other aspects).No regular monitoring is done on students entering n leaving the hostel premises during off hours.Kahaan se hoga...security section is busy checking damn Gate passes of NIT students during college hrs putting important issues on the back-burner.But I kno ..nothin's gonna change ..so I hope students only 2 realize the gravity of this situation .Just B Careful,B restrained!! Thats it. I know all of u might think that only negativity is flowing 4m this blog post..thats true..this is wat my mental state is in..n this is only a reflection..                                                                                           
                           
 " This College lyf is really KickAss,

                                                                    How fast these four years pass,

    But Boys B careful,B in control,

                                                       Dont get metamorphosed into a disfigured Carcass!!!! "

                                                                          No cheers!!!!

IIE....

 Dont u worry,IIE is neither  yet another Engg. college being set up in Bhubaneshwar nor any one of the Da Vinci codes nor any so called successor of IEEE!!!!It just means -IDOLS...INSPIRATIONS..EMBODIMENTS.Idols are ubiquitous.Every one has his/her own interpretation of his/her idol.

Sum follow their idols blindly..irrespective of wat they r doing..silly people..Sum of them like certain qualities of their idols.But dont believe wat our Dumb indian directors say about the word "Inspirations" lyk--"This movie is JUST an inspiration 4m a hollywood flick!!"

Lets cum to the point..if their is anything like IDOLS or sumthing ..then I strictly luk up to one man..whose one quality is totally indispensable--"ATTITUDE".And that man is STEVE JOBS,CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, n why I idolize him will b clear 4m the lines below.

Now it wll b gr8..if he himself tells u why he is my idol....following is his speech  which he gave during the commencement of Stanford university in 2005.Lets get the ball rolling!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. 

Just three stories. 

The first story is about connecting the dots. 

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was  unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. 

      

      And 17 years later I did go to college.  After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. 

      It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: 

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country.I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great.It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

             None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. 

      Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. 

 My second story is about love and loss. 

      I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. 

But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. 

      I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

      During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. 

 My third story is about death

      When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

       Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. 

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. 

      I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. 

Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. 

      It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. 

      Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. 

      And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. 

      Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish!

This things r 2 b followed n undrstud by one n all.But dont start wonderin evrywer saying this 2 evrybody..otherwise u wud get a tight slap..n will get 2 hear.."Hav sum food..u foolish guy!!!".

can u TAKE the FAKE??????????

The above line is not a humorous parody or an understatement,this is the world's greatest truth prevailing 2day...yeah u read it right.."truth".Right 4m the pounds of make up of 2day's actresses(ofcourse ther r xceptions in the form of Kristen Stewart..lets not get into that issue coz then my scrollbar will complain of height retardation) to my exam papers..(have a luk at my Renewable Systems paper..which is fakeness personified)..all has  substantial fakeness embedded onto it.If u group all the fake people in this world ,this will conjure up an never ending playlist of an iPOD shuffle..huh!!.                            

                                   This disease is so much prevalent n contagious that evry class of people r faking themselves out of their skins.B it a student of std X, who fakes his parents that he is goin 2 Tuitions,but he ends up somewhere else which has a definite G-connection(am sure u all will b smart enou to guess its Girly rather than nething related to Broadband).Its  kinda funny that he uses the same weapon n fakes hell of a things in the xam answer papers..which everyone says as "luck"(luck...wat the f....let it be)...n its not a big deal in 2day's curriculum that he  even gets gud grades....(ask any CS student in NIT RKL).Or b it the politicians..leave it..leave it(same scrollbar issue),u kno how these guys r.."idols"..........(of fakeness)!!!   

                                    Relations are not are not alien 2 this phenomenon..2day evryone thrives only on  personal benefits n relationships have bcum mere obligation 2 the society... a big thanx 2 Ekta kapoor 4 promoting these thoughts among the viewers thru her so called soaps ...but in true sense..which are equivalent 2 "toilet soaps" full of make up n bullshit!! Every pristine relation 2day has bcome so complicated n turbid that one fears 2  even get into a relation ..thinkin of its consequences,which is so pitiful.Doubt, uncertainty n mistrust has eclipsed all the relations just like clouds do to the sun mercilessly in England.2day the word "Relationship" can better b termed as  "Convenience"!!!                               

                                       But the million dollar question is that "Does it really matter???" Every person is making vague attempts to outsmart others..saying that his/her motto is "Live n let Live" where as every one is tryin their level best 2 disallow other person's existence.By the word "Everyone" I mean everyone...seriously!!The situation 2day goes like this :One individual plays dirty game on other..the other person retaliates with even more dirtier one...like wise the hypocrisy level increases...finally the one who wins.. gets the cherry ..while the loser lands in catch 22 situation!!The reason why I raised the above question is coz...no one has any complaints against this issue of fakeness coz everyone is overdosed wid it!!! Backbiting is served as breakfast..oiling as lunch..n hypocrisy in dinner..mouth watering isn't it?...damn it!! I have wasted my last 40 min to just convey that we shud b alert of our surroundings.. as we r going 2 thrive  in a harsh world.. a world full of cut-throat competition ..so accept fakeness as "PART" of life ,not as "HEART" of life!! Then life just may bcum more flexible(no more winners n no losers!!).Wat a piece of Advise!!!!!!!! Don't worry this is not fake..or  is it ????????                                    

DayschY 4.....

Hello.......PEHCHAAN KAUN??? ya its me.Anurag,returning back from my hibernation period...a " BIT "of prolonged one...I must say.If u all have 4gotten me..I don't blame u all.Actually I was pretty engrossed in writing articles for THE TIMES OF INDIA,for these past months, see how much POLITICALLY inCORRECT I am . Actually after my 3rd Semester disaster,I was busy in "disaster management" in the 4th semester,which just means compensation.But now when the sems are over and the blissful summer vacation which extends till eternity,has started.These all factors concerted in what I am doing now...writing ma 3rd blog post.

Now, most of the times,when I get to start to write a blog,the most retracting factor is wat 2 write??means the topic.After that last blog post, our team had won yet another Super Six cricket tournament,but how can I write about our victories again and again.See how much HUMBLE I am. Actually, I didn't want ma blog to be transformed into a cricket web site. These were very eventful 3 to 4 months which included my exciting trip to IIT Kharagpur's tech fest,disastrous tech fest n a decent spring fest of our institute,NITRKL.I take no shame in mentioning the dismal festivals of our insti ,coz i know its responsibility was in the hands of utterly incompetent ppl.See how TRUTHFUL I am.So these events are not worth mentioning here in my happy blog.

Lets come to the point.Now I have decided 2 write abt sum ppl whose company I have enjoyed in the last 2 yrs at NITRKL institute.Dont b afraid of the topic mentioned above,its not about another Rakesh Roshan's KRAZZY n disastrous directorial venture,but just an excerpt of my life at NITRKL.In our Electrical branch, hostelites form the majority as all of other branches,but our day scholar group of electrical simply rocks... So lets get started!!!

Firstly its Abhijit Pradhan.The complete yaroon ka yaar n Pune is his pehla pyaar...(Why? Come onnnnn,it wud b an easy guess)An ultra-talkative chap,hyper active,conscious of wat he does.Imagination is his daily dose of oxygen..but we have to suffer the carbon dioxide of it.Its mighty comical how imaginative he gets n that's the source of constant entertainment to us.But he's a great person 2 hang out with.A person who strikes more than decent balance in studies n xtra curricular.He's practical n not at least CHEAP like some electrical fellows(who can go to any extent for getting good grades)(the relation to this fact is purely real,the grades may reflect this...this semester).Lastly, he is much of helping nature n I tell him if he remains like this 4ever...PUNE DOOR NAHI HAI!!!!!

Then comes our Snigdharup Banerjee a.k.a Dindo.The 1st word comes to my mind wen I start 2 talk about him is "funny".A bit of lazy...bit of moody ,opportunist i.e present at the right spots at the right times.Moreover he has got the best of one liners u will ever get 2 hear .These are so spontaneous n exaggerated, that u can't hold ur laugh back.A headstrong guy who sticks 2 his perceptions.We make a gud pair in quizzing which I really like coz he has got vast knowledge of current affairs(like me)hehehe!!!See how DOWN TO EARTH I am.Last of all, he's a nice person to share company.

Then comes Sanaul Hoda..referred to as " Hanaul Soda " by Dindo...I told u he's funny.He's the best person I have come across with.An avid reader,has great fascination for novels,reads them like an entomologist studying a wasp, really appreciate that quality of his.But, koi bhi dudh ka dhula nahi hota na...Every one has got a flip side.God, this person is an epitome of laziness.......u may ask dindo , he will relate tales of sanaul's laziness during our trip to IIT KGP.Can u guess the most seductive thing in the eyes of Sanaul which makes his mouth water???THINK ..THINK ....NO..u dirty mind,its not that u think!! Its just a pillow n a bed.He simply can't resist them.Like in those old cartoons,in the character's eyes,dollar signs twinkles when they see money..sanaul's case is perfectly analogous.Otherwise a simple person, well spoken and a perfect foil for me n dindo to make fun of.

Ahemmm..Ahemmm....then comes Anurag Mishra.If u read the above portion of the blog carefully u will get to know him.He is POLITICALLY inCORRECT,HUMBLE,TRUTHFUL, DOWN TO EARTH .And another thing, I leave it on u to describe him in the comments section..NECESSARY for neutral readers..COMPULSORY for above persons.Sorry guys I may have written much more about you all..but 2 factors that played the role of inhibitors in this chemical reaction were:-

• readers complained that the length of the scroll bar was tending to zero in my last blog post ,so I tuk that factor into consideration and had 2 cut short the length of this post(relatively I guess........).
• above persons have still not returned my 108 rupees of Xerox which I had done for them in the last sem, and this fact is highly unappreciated.

In this case,the latter cause is dominating... byebye..cheers!!