n they said...CAT is the toughest!!!

"chii..chiiiiiiiiii..chhhkkk..chkk"  sounds familiar???

Andheri raaton mein,

Sunsaan gharoon par,

Jab eeeek "chuuuha" nikalta hai...

Use log "tu chale jah" kehte hein.

here's the line up...(not as long as d 15-member Indian cricket squad.. but Trust me!! dey r equally challengable.)

Naam - Chotta Chhhatri...also known as "cc"(due 2 striking resemblance between its initials n its rediculously miniature size)

Baap ka naam - Kanyoom Khatriii...such a sneaky son of a bitch one cud hav ever imagined..boy!

Maa ka naam - Yedi Mausi!

Day-1,8:30 am:

Mummy n papa conversing...

Mom-we hav 2 do sumthin abt it..its gettin 2 mischievous...startin 4m bananas,vegetabls..to the couch covers in the closet..its invasion has been alarmingly increasing over the days..

Me,pretending 2 b unconscious(wich I actually am during sleep) was eavesdropping...n suddenly burst in2 laughter 2 add to the irritation of my mom..n latched a sarcastic 1-liner "aree ganeshji swayam padhaare hein humare dwar..aur aap hein ki tuuch vastu ko leke pareshaan hein...hehehe".

Mom - haan haan uda mazakk...

That nite..deviating 4m my actual nocturnal self..I slept at about 11:30..unknown of the fact dat next day I was goin 2 receive a big Jhatka!!

Day-2,7:15 am:

Mom-Babu..dekh apna yeh tuuch vastu..Jai ho shree Ganesh ki..

Even in my half-closed eyes..I cud recognize.. that was my Fastrack Wrist watch(n yes..Limited Collection).But it seemed a bit different..a bit..OMG!!!its band was corroded like...like a RAT had..Wat d F**k!!!then I had realized that so called "cc" had ruined my invaluable watch n my mom had taken revenge of my sarcasm.

Mom-Too bad..so saaad!!!

Me(infuriated):Maa...we hav 2 do sumthin abt this "mirchi bomb"..its getting 2 mischievous(notice d xact words as my mom d last day..its funny how 1's reaction changes depending upon "waqt n halaat").

Widout wastin much tym,I did 2 things..Got my watch done..n more importantly RAT Poison.. "hihahahaha!! 'cc' aaj toh tu gaya..." I thought.

Day-3,7:30 am:

Mom-Babu c who's ther...its ur "Mirchi bomb"..but wid no 'spice' ne more ...

It was the best alarm I had evr heard...went 2 c that ugly asshole n waaah!wat a sight!!Silence prevailed.Mom asked me dispose that thing..I took it..threw in the dustbin...showed it my middle finger...n said "Dont Rest In Peace".

Just wen I thought life had become better,I heard Mom saying sumthing 2 papa..wich sounded like "..haan..that small one is gone.. but the big one is still alive n kicking!!".

Me-Oh,no...not any more,plz Ganesh ji..I want ur blessings not ur "Chelas".That nite,I kept my watch(not in d usual condition..but still Limited Collection :))above the Fridge rather than the shelf n also planted the poison..in order 2 verify..they r dead..they r AAALLLL dead!!

Day-4,8:45 am:

That morning,Mom's call neither sounded sarcastic nor joyous,rather it sounded sorry...sorry 4 me.I thought the protagonist was dead,but I was wrong..so terribly wrong!After 'cc',it was 'kk' who exhibited the tag "Revenge of the fallen" !!Aur saalon ko meri ghadi hi mili thi..it was back 2 d condition in wich it was xactly 24 hrs b4,rotten!!One cant believe how 'kk' got 2 my watch..that nite..it got thru the backward circuitry of the fridge n luckily(n unluckily 4 me) d fridge was switched off. This tym even the watch shopkeeper laughed at my Tragic saga..2 wich I responded spontaneously "chal chal..apna kam kar".I had decided that no more poison..coz mom said this "kk"(Kutta Kamina) knew from the smell of the poison.. wat it actually was.So I decided 2 end this once 4 all wid a Mouse Trap!

In d nite tym, I planted kk's favourite material(no!! not my watch but a shinning slice of tomato(minus poison obv.))inside the trap n everything was set up nicely 4 the Villainous 'kk'.

Day-5,6:30 am:

"Dhip Dhip.....Ddhipppp".

"It's in"...Mom shouted wid joy.I jumped off my bed 2 hav that view..n seeing it inside I cudn't control sayin,

"Ram Naam satya hai..yeh nazaara mast hai!".It was quite an achievement,I tell u. Phew!!!!

That nite,ther was no sound of utensils,nothing was damaged,my watch was alright, n no more RAT in d TRAP nxt morning.So I concluded dat " Yedi mausi is not dat yedi 2 stay in our house n get killed by me." n 4m then on we r living happily widout d "RAT" factor.

U n me..me n U ,aur beech mein kuch frustoo!

 me:-

इस ब्लॉग के कोई भी घटनाएँ और पात्र काल्पनिक नहीं है और इनका बहुत से "item" लोगों से अटूट सम्बन्ध है. यदि इन घटनाओं के लिए किसीका कोई संदर्भ (means reference.. i had 2 search the hindi counterpart for it.. c how much hardwork is put in2 dis.)है तोह वोह सच है .  बहुत सारे  भयंकर नर और मादा के विभिन प्रजातियाँ हमारे यहाँ  पाए जाते हैं.आईये आपका इस NIT नामक फक्किंग(no astericks reqd..yippi) चिडियाघर में स्वागत है.  

u:-

हाँ हाँ.. हो गया..हो गया(में समझ गया  की साला तू  हिंदी विंदी लिख के impress करना चाहता है )...आज के लिए इतना हिंदी काफी है..चल अभी line पे आजा.

me:-

okay boss..aa gaya line mein(the emotion is in hindi..but the language is English..hope its enou)Throwin sum more light on the disclaimr..this post is abt our insti's so called TEACHERS..or comical CREATURES(obv. not all..kya pata koi teachr hi padha raha ho toh.. let me play safe). So widout ne futhr delay,lets roll...

u:-

haan saale..play safe..dravid ka bhatija..

me:-

Subject -1: Subbu...Our HOD(Hero of the Dept)He makes u feel like ikiis saal ka boodha..n he himself pachas saal ka jawaan..looks r aristocratic..but 1ce he opens his mouth....Yeshh...Yeshh( pronounces "s" as "shhh")..dignity terminates,comedy emanates.Durin Suhaag raat,he might hav said..let hav sum shheks...(dekh daant mat dikha). Lost in self importance,unsure wen asked doubts..blah blah..inspite of these facts I dont hav much 2 say against him coz he doesnt disturb us in our back bench talks..So i m like "Cool" with him..& my conclusion 4 him is  a "HERO HEERA LAL".

u:- hihihi..shheks..shhhhahi..oops, i mean sahi :)

me:-

Subject 2:- 

 Jacko..the pyscho.Sumtyms I ask God,y this person researched for awful 30 yrs in our field of study...the answer I get.."Baccha.. he did so only 2 f**k u tym n tym again.".Yes God u r true, I say.Evry tym u face him,u realize that u kno nothing...n trust me..u learn it d HARD WAY...Conceptually he's brilliant(aftr all 30 yrs :-) )..but nature wise..hyperdominant. And ther is further news that he'z appointed the new VC of the BPUT university..its bad..soooo sad :-)[dat was fr BPUT students] .Sabhi sabutaun ko madde nazar rakhte hue adalat yeh faisla sunati hai ki..he is a "MEGALOMANIAC".

u:- God bhi aaj kal non-veg kehna start kar diye.. gud god!

me:- 

Subject 3:-

Bahar se Danger Sahoo(BD Sahoo)..of the CS dept. I facd him wen i had some uploading of website job for the insti. But he, boy! lemme put the xact interaction..

myself :- Sir, actually I request u to grant permision 4 the webspace of our club....plz if u cud ask the server room officials 2 forward  the process.

BDS :- Haan,kyun nahi. Kal koi "playboy" ka bhi site bana lena ,aur mera permission zaroorat pade toh le jana.You all r suffering 4m inferiority complex, n want 2 xhibit urselves in frnt of others by these websites n all. Go...

myself(stunned..where 4m this "playboy" thing came 4m ..zaroor yeh khud hi dekhta hoga ):- Sir , but Dir sir has asked u 2 do this..plz if u cud co-operate..we wll b thankful..

BDS:- Director..wo toh baccha hai..usko kuch nahi maloom..mera exp. usse kaafi zyada hai.. blah blah.

I cudn't take it any more..n went in a point-blank manner widout caring wat he thought abt dat .Next day I went 2 him with a written directive 4m the Dir..n he like a good boy gave his permission without any further glitches.."FATTU" kahin ka. Bahar se Danger,saddha hua andar :)

Yeh toh bas trailer tha..poori picture toh jhel hi nahi paooge mere dost...

u:- chalo bhaiii..isko kuch comment de dete hein !!  :-)