KOYLA

                                                             

PETER bhi gandaa hai,
LEVI bhi maila…

Chaaron aur hai KOYLA!!

Hosh na khona kyunki KOYLA toh khod ke jana!! 

Okay.Okay. Calm down. Madhuri is pretty busy doing "Hehe" with her "Nene" and SRK is with what he does best…publicity of his movie! So,this is definitely not a teaser to  ‘KOYLA 2’ or anything of that sort. This is more deadly, more gruesome. In simple words, more LITERAL!!!

Holy Sunshine! Oh, thou glittering orb of fire! Radiating rays of life. Just when your rays tend to caress the epidermis, the uncluttered and the pure warmth of nature sinks in. Priceless!

OYE HELLO!!! Enough of the choking PHILOSOPHY. Having trouble guessing its Trigger?? No, it’s not any magnificent view of sunrise on the expansive beaches of Goa nor any serene sun-view from the Mighty Himalayas. But it’s the ‘extraordinarily normal’ feeling of getting above the ground from an hell-like Undergound Coal-Mine!! Orgasmic.

Occasion: 29/10/2011;

 Location : Conference Room,Training Centre;

Occupation : Tata Steel.

Presently, am in a shitty Mining lecture; the faculty giving me dirty looks as if I had deflowered his daughter last night and he was a witness to that. A dangerous yet exciting tym to vomit a blog post on my maiden Underground mine-visit experience. ’Flashback Horror’ I call it. Firing it away!

Flashback! Vrooooooooooooooooooooooom!!

Occasion: 12/9/2011;

Location : Underground Mine Office;

Occupation : Wahi same hi hai be.

Supervisor : Aur kaisa chal raha hai,Company ke damaadon?(I tell u,all our Aged-seniors over here r fuckin’ jealous of us. Only ‘coz of an Engineering degree,we have a high designation n get paid more. And these ego-centric retards have a tough time digesting the fact. Sadistic! Yo Engineering Yo.)

 Bahut uchhal rahe hoge,aaj uchhal lo jab damaad bane hue ho,kal jab manager banoge,Tab Bin Dahej ki Dulhan ki tarah hona padega!

With a “Kill me, Damn it!” expression I gaped at my frens n they bore the same look. 

Me(Trying to get to the point): Sir, we are ready with our Torch-Lights, Batteries, and Protective gear. Shall We…

Supervisor : Easy Tiger! Why in such hurry? U all are Virgins. Aren’t u? (Another round of gaping expressions followed this.) I mean u all haven’t been Underground before. Have u? Trust me, aftr today’s visit, you will want to make sure that you have no time fr such visits. Anyways, let’s go.

Amidst such ominous warnings, we braced up ourselves and finally reached the shaft that would take us down under. Hell Down under!!

The shaft was a dark chamber with a capacity of 25 people max. Needless to say,how many actually were with us.36!! Incredible India! It was dark all around and a continuous seepage of ground water made the surroundings eerily cool. The difference in atmospheric pressure was noticeable. The shaft finally stopped 500 m below ground level. A notice board there,read "Welcome To Jamadoba, Jharia -Deepest Coal-mine in Asia" How the fuck can it be welcoming? Bloody Oxymoron.

Quick Facts. There is no natural oxygen present here. Artificial air is sucked in through pumps and it ventilates the entire area.(Read 'Ventilates' as 'Compromise') Forget about food,even if you open up ur water bottle fr drinking purposes, the omnipresent Coal-dust contaminates that as well.Then to strike the final nail in the coffin,there is Methane Gas whose even sporadic amounts can cause fire and serious health issues. 

Mr. Supervisor was carrying a stick n was tapping the roof-top periodically. On being asked,he replied... Kabhi Kabhi gir jata hai na...isliye!!  Wat d....How do people survive here? all of us were wondering...shell-shocked!

We walked though a down-sliding drift of 2 Klicks!!Throughout that trip,I was wondering what on earth will happen when we have to return-A bone-crushing,toe-twisting upward crawl!!Phew! 

We reached the 'Face' of the mine,where the actual drilling and blasting of mine,takes place;coal is recovered through haulage  and transferred above ground through Winders.(Oh! Wow I am talking like a Mining Engineer) Foremen & workers in banyans n half-pants, were supervising and carrying out the operation and seeing us in officer's apparel they started staring  @ us as if we belonged to Mars.Anyways,I don't want to include these people under the purview of my Sarcasm;I feel really empathetic fr these guys. That place is hell.Dirty hell. And to work everyday in there..with a substantial risk quotient fr just a meager wage,these people deserve only consolation,sympathy and applause.

After the 'Face'-off, the worst part began. The Climb!!Even the 'mouth-watering' feeling of getting above ground was insufficient fr the tired-souls to continue. Everyone was going berserk. One of my frens was praying to God to send him for a hell-trip(Actual one that is) so that he can have a comparison. One was in intense pain due to corn in his foot.One was checking his Family's pic in his wallet,unsure of the fact whether he would be able to see them again or not. And I, was singing "O Rabba,mein toh mar gaya Oye....Khudaaai mein toh kar gaya,kar gaya..Oye" to which I received cold stares frm everyone.The Supervisor laughed. He did his best to keep the tempo going,by talking about arbitrary topics and  keep the overall mood sane.Little did he know..he was talking to Zombies,totally numb out of pain. 

We etched closer.It's amazing how the adrenalin can take you over the tipping point in such gross situations.We started to walk faster(relatively) and reached the shaft. The A-shift too had ended at that time.So there was huge crowd gathering there anticipating the shaft to come down. The supervisor took us through the crowd and we were ready by the shaft. The Shaft-gates opened.We all rushed in one go.Then came the worker-public;almost giving a sense of stampede. The shaft official sequestered the crowd and closed the gated.It was really a Jail-Jailer-prisoner kinda situation.The desperation to go out,was so evident,even on the faces of the daily goers.

Then that thin serene strap of Sunlight.A Kodak Moment!! I wanted to fall in love with every natural thing I saw: the sunlight, the chirping of birds, the natural air,the smiling faces.Of course the Air-conditioner helped :) But on a serious note,every basic amenity seemed like Luxury! That was one heck of an experience.Made me realize how fortunate we r to hang on to Prithvi lok rather than the Patal Lok. Also the fact that man can generate money from anywhere..Yeah!! Anywhere! Lastly,just want to say to my mining juniors, you guys have not seen the worst part of ur trade.Its 'THE' worst.

This is Anurag \m/ishra 'Signing' Off and 'Mining' Down :P